Okay, okay. I know I haven’t written since January, three whole months. And I’m blowed if I can remember what’s happened in that time (and it would be boring to list it all, of course). One thing I have learnt, though, is that it never gets easier to decide What I Want To Do With My Life.
This seems to get even trickier as you get older, even though I’m not even 30 yet (yep, only a few months to go, only myself I’m kidding, etc). Plus, an internal bargaining voice starts chipping in – ‘if I start this now, I’ll be X years old by the time I’ve finished, meaning X, so then I’ll do X’.
So, I started a distance MSc in environmental and energy studies, something I’m really interested in and feel passionate about. But it also means confining myself to the house even more, which is not good for anyone – me, the dogs (who have to listen to me talk to myself) or Chris (who comes home to a girlfriend suffering Cabin Fever).
Having finished the first unit, I’ve decided I can’t do that. Much better to improve my Spanish, get out and meet some real people, and maybe learn something on the job out here. But the hardest thing? Shrugging off the feeling that I need a Masters to prove something and also actually quitting it now I’ve started.
It bugs me to ‘give up’, but it’s more like taking a constructive decision and recognising the best way forward, for my sanity and everyone around me.